Ex- Californian Hell

Are you an ex-Californian? 

Why did you decide to leave California?  Was it an economy-based decision?  Did you move out of the Golden State because you found another place with a slower pace and a lower cost of living?

How's it all working for you?  Are you happier now - really?

I've been there myself - more than once. 

Years ago, I took a look around and felt that old discontentment.  Bored with living in a picture postcard paradise, I started obsessing on California's economic downturn and my own roles as breadwinner, commuter, taxpayer and frustrated voter.

I needed a break from California.

I did massive amounts of research on many other states and cities.  I visited.  I took pictures.  I got excited.  I planned.  I saved.  I moved.  I did it!  Yay!  California was in my rear-view mirror.  I was 'free at last'.  Bye, suckers!

Yeah, there's a little more to the story.

At first, things were fun, fresh and exciting in my new state.  When I looked at my new driver's license, I felt liberated.  I met lots of new folks who were friendly and helpful in my new community.  The honeymoon period was fantastic, but honeymoons fade.

Work, bills and routine take over.  You get a little tired of your new friends saying, "You ought to be happy you got out of the hell-hole of California.  I don't know why you put up with that place as long as you did.  It's all queers and steers I tell ya.  Folks just aren't normal out there in California!"

Where's the Ralph's and Von's?  What?  There's no Tommy's or In' N' Out Burger?  Oh.  That's right.  I left.  Lower cost of living.  That's right.  But, no bike lanes here?  No curbs or sidewalks here, just weeds and dirt? 

Is there anything to do - or talk about - other than WalMart?

The thinking isn't quite as free where you're at now, is it?  The scenery isn't quite as varied as it was in California.  Oh, sure, the living is cheaper, but so is your new lifestyle.  Less amenities.  Less quality.  Less excitement.  Less, less, less. 

Cheesy local TV becomes your ritual.  Your eyes glaze over.

Then it happens.

Images scream from your TV.  A fire, an earthquake, the Oscars, the Grammys, the Rose Parade, celebrities, the O.C., Laguna Beach, 90210, Melrose Place, bikinis, Baywatch reruns, the Golden Gate, palm trees and protests.  All in Technicolor, drenched in adrenalin. 

Something snaps.

Sweating to death or being knee-deep in snow totally sucks.  All the leaves are brown, and the sky is gray!  Doubts and questions.  Why exactly am I here?  Was it really that bad in California?  Was it?  I miss my wind-chimes and Trader Joe's!

Your tan has faded and your entire life is on dial-up.

Yes, I've been where you are.  I was so happy when I saw that sign that welcomed me back to my California.  I've been back for years and still love my Golden State.  I'm not leaving.  I totally love it here.

I'm paying through the nose every month for this fabulous weather, but it's worth every dollar.  California rocks, so come back home!