Feb 1, 2013
Let's just DOUBLE California taxes. Why not?
We need to pay double tax statewide immediately. Let's look into our hearts, reach deep inside our wallets, and start throwing huge wads of cash toward Sacramento!
Let's finally end the battles over the California budget and state economy once and for all by doubling our taxes. It's only money, right? Just green pieces of paper.
Constant economic dramas are putting those nasty 'worry lines' between the eyebrows of Californians, and we're tired of going back to the plastic surgeon for endless Botox injections.
Let's just double all taxes in California immediately. Sacramento is jonesing for cash while our whole state looks like a total welfare case in front of the world. This is totally embarrassing, people.
How can we even show our faces in public? Image is everything here in California.
Do we want to see our state's leaders running around with bad dye jobs, sagging faces and imitation fragrances? They represent 40-million trend-setting Californians, after all.
Can't we see how much they need more tax dollars?
Support the cause. Double taxes across California... for the children.
We need a tsunami of cash to hit Sacramento. Our elected officials have hundreds of programs waiting for funding, but the cupboards are bare. How shameful.
Why don't we just go ahead and select Old Mother Hubbard as Miss California?
Do we want to see our visiting California tourists sleeping in the 'cardboard condos' of Skid Row? What will the other states and nations say? After countless years of trend-setting for the world, will California's cultural influence now consist of 99-cent stores?
Please don't let this happen. Let's double California taxes right now.
As I am typing this article, it is hard to see through my tears as I shudder at horrifying possibilities our state will face if we don't cough-up more taxes in 2013:
- California children reading by candlelight in schools
- Firefighters laid-off while Californians extinguish wildfires with Diet Coke
- Grandma having medical marijuana as her only health care plan
- Hollywood awards show after-parties catered with Top Ramen and Spam
- Oprah's Montecito mansion renting-out rooms to pay the mortgage
- California officials on TV wearing 'grocery store makeup'
- Sacramento forced to use dial-up connections to run the state
- Millions of California blondes with six inches of roots
- Wealthiest Californians enduring generic caviar and used Bentleys
- Comedians and rappers worldwide calling our state 'Ghettofornia'
When we as a people open our hearts and give, we give big. We're Californians!
Let's all chip in and write some heartwarming donation checks while we're at it. A generous cash gift each month will make such a huge difference in the lives of our poor beloved politicians.
- An extra million dollars per month will feed 10 elected officials.
- An extra billion each month will feed 20 needy politicians.
- An extra trillion would even make Congress happy again.
Feed The Taxman